Responsibility

Our traveling group separated today one at a time, as our various flights were all at 3 hour intervals from each other. I was the second-last to leave, and Caren and I spent most of the afternoon picnicking at the beautiful St Stephen's park in Dublin. We watched the swans, the ugly ducklings; we talked, and watched people. There's a heat wave, and we loved it because it had that Aussie summer feel to it. I'm really going to miss these two girls, they've just been the best and we all got along so well even though it was just three weeks.

Now I'm on the flight to London. New sights, new journey! And new struggles. I've been trying to mentally prepare myself ever since the flight attendant made me turn off my phone and stop blogging a little while ago.

I don't know how to act. Is it better to prepare myself or do I just go with the flow? The latter has always worked for me. It can potentially work again, and will be the much easier path. It's kind of like alcohol: I feel a little bit nervous/anticipating but I know that when we meet at the airport in a few minutes I'll forget the bad stuff, it would probably be like old times. I'll be light-hearted and even forgetful of everything.

But this has to be different because now I know these ten days could be my only chance to make the difference I want to make. And the result I want is radical, even impossible in such a short time span. But so absolutely vital, more important than so many things in this world, and I must not take it lightly. This is my wrong I have to right.

How to approach. With an open mind, with no judgements. That's what the right answer is. HOW. I wish I could just forget my prejudices. They shouldn't even be there in the first place! There might be a fuller story I don't know. I wish I had the personality that could do it with more ease. There's so much information I wish I never knew before I started this challenge, because it's going to be in the back of mind alll the time, and the hardest is if you have to hold some of it back from someone that used to know so much of what was that was there.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.